Probably some of the greatest pain and the greatest joy is that which we experience within our families. Some of the pain and joy we experience is also within the family of God. Could it be that this is true because our families are where our personalities are formed, shaped and nurtured? Within our families we may learn to dream. These dreams may be reinforced, challenged, stimulated, questioned, or crushed by those who are close to us.

The family in which I was blessed to grow up was far from perfect, but it was a place of love, stability, and Christian values. Sometimes our families may be places where we may experience deep pain that we may carry into our adult years. Pain, of course, may be experienced throughout our years resulting from the loss of a loved one, an unrealized career goal, a wayward child, financial problems, or the betrayal of a friend, just to mention a few possibilities. Those of you who were present to worship in recent weeks may recall I have begun a series on dreaming.

The scripture read for our worship this morning is often referred to as the parable of the prodigal son. Sometimes it is spoken of as the parable of the prodigal SONS. You may have heard me refer to it as the parable of the loving father. While I believe all of these are good descriptions, this morning I have called it the "Parable of Devastation and Restoration," the story of a family experiencing pain and joy.

I. Devastation

Some might think that devastation is a strong word, but I believe it is a fitting word to express something of the intense pain that may result from wasted times in the lives of people. The first example from this story is the most common one, the pain of rebellion.

     A. Rebellion

Of course, the example of the pain brought about by rebellion in this story is the younger son. He requested his share of his father's estate and left home with the money. This young man went off to live his life in rebellion against the values and rules of his father.

Certainly the young man's rebellious lifestyle caused him pain, but also hurt the lives of others. Sometimes when rebellious persons try to justify their behavior they will say something like, "What difference does it make to anyone else; I'm only hurting myself?" It is seldom that simple. Our lives are intertwined with each other's. Whether our actions are for good or bad, they often have some effect on the lives of those around us.

Many of us have gone through times of rebellion. It may have occurred during adolescence, but it may continue through life, especially rebellion against God. A rebellious son or daughter may realize that he or she has not only caused devastation to his or her own life, but perhaps also to the heart of others close to them.

     B. Resentment

Exhibit "B" for the devastation of resentment is of course the older brother in this story. Apparently he got stuck living in the resentment, the bitterness, the jealousy, and unforgiveness, rather than enjoying all the blessings, the safety and security of his father's house.

His Father had a welcome home party for the younger brother and the older brother did not think it was right. He was jealous that after years of serving his Father, his Dad had never given him such a party. As he spoke of his younger brother he did not acknowledge his relationship to him. He referred to him as "this son of yours." Perhaps he was covering his own personal pain by becoming angry with one who received more than he deserved. This pain of resentment can be very dangerous, because all of us have received more blessings than we deserve.

Several weeks ago I talked about Joseph and his brothers. Remember that his brothers were jealous and resentful of him so that they plotted to get rid of him. You may also recall that the first murder recorded in the Bible involved jealousy and resentment. While the pain of resentment does not necessarily lead to violent sinful behavior, I believe it robs one of joy, of dreaming God's dreams.

     C. Rejection

We have briefly thought about the pain of rebellion and the pain of resentment, but what about the profound pain of rejection that this father experienced from his two sons. This father has been deeply hurt by them. Before the joy of restoration come the pain and devastation of rejection and separation.

In Luke's Gospel he records two other parables of Jesus before this one. The first is the story of the shepherd leaving the 99 sheep to go search for the one lost sheep. Then our Lord told the story a woman who lost one of her ten coins and searched her house until she found it. However, in the third parable that we are focusing on today the younger son chose to leave of his own volition. He did not just get lost. He rejected the love of his father. Helmut Thielicke calls this the "parable of the waiting father."

Even though the older son had not physically left his father it seems to me that he may also have rejected his father. Perhaps their relationship was not as close as Father would have liked. Perhaps his son's service is merely out of a sense of duty without joy. Certainly, the older son rejected his father in this story when he stayed away from this grand party. The scripture does not tell us whether or not he changed his mind and joined in the festivities after his talk with his father.

Certainly this story tells us of the pain of our heavenly Father when his children reject His love. He continues to wait as He allows His children to make their own decision about rejecting or receiving His love.

II. Restoration

Our loving God desires that we move beyond the devastation of pain of rebellion, resentment, rejection, or whatever the pain may be, to the dream of restoration. This may be vital before we can really dream God's dreams. Let me suggest some steps toward this restoration.

     A. Acknowledge the pain of your past.

After his devastating experience that he was largely responsible for bringing upon himself the younger son acknowledged the pain of his past. He came to his senses. While he was nearly dying of hunger he realized that his father's servants had plenty to eat. He acknowledged his responsibility in his situation. He had sinned against his father and against heaven. He headed home to make his confession to his father. Without this step how could restoration have ever taken place?

Behind each of our faces here today is a story. Having served as a pastor for thirty -seven years I am increasingly convinced that there is some pain in all of our stories. Certainly, some have experienced much more intense pain than others. Some try to mask their pain in many ways which could include: over work, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, television, video games, computer usage, recreational activities, over eating, tobacco, alcohol or other drugs, and even compulsive religious activities.

We need to acknowledge our pain for what it is. If it is the result of sin we need to confess our sin to God and to those we have hurt. The younger son realized that living his life apart from God was destroying him and if you and I try to live apart from God it will be devastating to us also.

At this point I feel I need to make something very clear. All of us are sinners. Only by God's grace are we saved. Having said that let me also say some of our painful past may not be directly related to your sin or mine. Some of our pain may have been inflicted upon us by other persons as was the case for the loving father. Some of the pain we experience is the result of circumstances over which we may have little or absolutely no control. Whether or not sin is directly involved here, we still must acknowledge our painful past to move toward restoration.

     B. Ask God for help.

We have a unique God who understands what it is to go through pain. He can identify with pain because I believe that the father in the parable is a picture of our loving, waiting heavenly father. He has experienced the pain of rejection of many wayward children down through the years. He sent His own Son to earth to die on the cross for sins He did not commit. The father in this story ran out to meet His son when He saw him returning. God will certainly meet you and I with a heart of compassion when we ask for His help.

In the parable the father also assured the older son of His love. What he had belonged to his older son. The father wanted his son to move beyond pain to the joy of restoration of a loving relationship. If we ask God for help, pain can be used for our growth and a deepening of our relationship to Him.

In her book, Released from Shame, Sandra Wilson made this beautiful analogy. "Pearls are the product of pain. For some unknown reason, the shell of the oyster gets pierced and an alien substance - a grain of sand - slips inside. On the entry of that foreign irritant, all the resources within the tiny sensitive oyster rush to the spot and begin to release healing fluids that otherwise would have remained dormant. By and by the irritant is covered and the wound is healed - by a pearl. No other gem has so fascinating history. It is the symbol of stress - a healed wound ... a precious, tiny jewel conceived through irritation, born of adversity, nursed by adjustments. Had there been no wounding, no irritating, there could have been no pearl."

With this in mind I suggest one more step in the restoration process.

     C. Allow healing to begin.

Even though they are living in pain some people seem to want to stay in their sad, miserable, situation. I have soemtimes referred to such persons as "the walking wounded." They need to let go of the pain of the past and allow God to heal them emotionally and spiritually. Perhaps some refuse to do so because then they figure they would have to quit blaming their circumstances on their terrible past.

To allow this healing to take place we need to do what the younger son did when he came to his senses, he allowed himself to be loved by God and other people. Some don't seem to think they deserve to be loved because they have lived with emotional pain so long. Others realize intellectually that they are loved by God, but shut themselves off from close relationships with others in the family of God. I am not suggesting that we need to tell everyone our pain to allow healing to take place, but sharing it with God and a few other persons may well be a part of the healing process. Notice too, I said "Allow the healing to begin." God may do it instantly, but most often I think God brings about such healing over a period of time. It you are taking these steps and the process is not complete yet, do not despair. Continue to do your part and allow God to bring you to the restoration that He desires for you. Dare to dream that joy can come from the pain of your past.

Return