One father I know who makes a difference is Dr. Gary Rosberg, but Gary would clearly tell you that has not always been true. Many years ago as Gary was finishing up work on his doctor's degree he did not spend much time with his wife and children. As a matter of fact one day Gary was visiting with his young daughter one day, something he had not done much during that busy period of his life.

His daughter had drawn a picture of their home, including her mother, her brother, her dog, etc, but Gary was not even in the picture. That incident, along with others, prompted Gary to take constructive action to get back in the picture. He is back in the picture, and he is assisting other men to be better husbands, fathers, church supporters, friends and men of principle in the work place through a great organization called Cross Trainers. He is also a speaker for Promise Keepers, marriage seminars, and he, along with his wife Barbara, have a radio program on WHO called American's Family Coaches.

You and I who are fathers, grandfathers, etc. may want to be good, Godly dads and grand dads, but are we close enough to really love, lead, and live as God intends?

Steve Farrar wrote:

"I am an excellent bowler. I carry an average of 285. The goal of any bowler is a 300 game. Over the years I have rolled nearly twenty 300 games.

But there is something I should mention. The length of a bowling alley is approximately sixty feet. I, however, prefer to bowl from about fifteen feet. When I bowl from fifteen feet, I enjoy the game a lot more. The majority of my balls are strikes, and when I do leave a spare, I always make it.

I'm dynamite from fifteen feet. But when I move back to the regulation line, my average drops dramatically. The reason is simple: Error increases with distance.

What is true in bowling is true in fathering. Error increases with distance. In other words, if I am going to be the family leader that God has called me to be, then I must BE THERE. On Site. Consistently.

With this in mind I ask myself, am I close enough to:

I. Love.

Just because we have sons and daughters in our homes and extended families does not necessarily mean that you and I are close enough to really communicate that we love them. Years ago, many men worked on their own small farms and businesses in their homes. They had opportunity to be close, even during some of their working time. In these days with most fathers and many mothers working out of their home, perhaps a more intentional effort needs to be made to be close enough to love.

Even when a dad is physically close, as important as that is, he needs to demonstrate and verbalize his love for his children. Many fathers do one or the other, but not both. If were are really serious about being good dads we need to get close enough to show our love and tell them, "I Love You." That is the example I see in Jesus, of communicating verbally and non verbally, "I love you."

Dare we go on to ask, "Am I close enough to:

II. Lead.

Fathers, we are instructed to bring up our children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. We do not effectively do this by telling our children, "Do as I say, not as I do." We do not obey the scriptures ourselves, if we, as fathers, leave all of the instruction and discipline to mothers. If we are really going to lead our children in the ways of the Lord, stern rules alone will not accomplish the task. We need to be close enough to our children for them to see that our delight, is in the law of the Lord. I believe that includes visiting with our children about our commitment to obey God, even when if is difficult for us at times, as it may be for them. Don't lead as one who has already reached perfection, since that probably is not accurate. While we lovingly lead, we may need to allow our children to fail, to make mistakes. Hopefully, if they fail on less critical matters, they may succeed on most important matters.

Finally, "Am I close enough to:

III. Live.

Do I really live with my wife and kids? Do we take the necessary time to enjoy life together? I am glad that Rachael, Jonathan, Hannah and Sue seem to want to have me around and spend time with them. My failing to do so from time to time is one way that I may provoke my family, not by intention, but by default. The last two weeks are a case in point. My schedule sometimes keeps me from seeing my family as much as I would like with Annual Conference, Vacation Bible School, Committee Meetings, wedding preparation, and other pastoral responsibilities. I need to work at being close enough to really live and enjoy life with them.

While I take the pastoral work God has given to me seriously I also need to take my role as God given work as a father seriously, too. Sometimes we can involve our children in some of our errands and various aspects of our work out of sheer realization of the brevity of time. But some time needs to be set aside to live and enjoy life just with them. As much as some of us may believe that, it can still be a challenge.

I want to enjoy living with my kids in this life and know that we are going to live with Jesus in the life that is to come. I want to be close enough to my family to live with that assurance that they share a relationship with my Lord and know what is right.

Conclusion

James Dobson tells of a mother whose three-year-old daughter had recently learned that Jesus will come to live in the hearts of those who invite Him. "That is a very difficult concept for a young child to assimilate, and this little girl did not quite grasp it. Shortly thereafter she and her mother were riding in the car and the three-year-old suddenly came over and put her ear to her mother's chest.

"What are you doing?" asked the mother.

"I'm listening to Jesus in your heart," replied the child. The woman permitted the child to listen for a few seconds, and then she asked, "Well, what did you hear?"

The child replied, "Sounds like he's making coffee to me."

What a unique and delightful observation by this toddler. Dads and moms need to take time to BE CLOSE to our kids-to be close enough to them to really let them know that we love them-to be close enough to lead them in the Christian way of life and then live and enjoy life with them.

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