Introduction

Many of you are aware of the fact that Sue and I were married at an older age than most for a first marriage. Near the time of our wedding an active member of my church was telling me something of his experience. Frank had been a few years younger than I when he and Diana were married. He mentioned that after being out of college a few years marriage was quite an adjustment for them, but he said the far greater adjustment for them came about five years later when their first child was born.

While children are a great blessing from the Lord, the proper training of them can indeed be a challenge. Many parents have given advice to others and some parents have even listened to and heeded advice. On this Mother's Day I want us to think about parenting and make it clear that parenting is not just for moms. Dad ought to play a vital role also. Grandparents and others may be involved, too, not just in giving advice, but in putting it into action. Of course, today we also recognize our confirmation students, in whom many special people had played a role in their spiritual development.

Practical parenting wisdom comes from the Scriptures, including the Proverbs of Solomon. One of these proverbs, probably familiar to many of you is the focus of this message. "Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old, he will not depart from it."

How do you understand this particular Proverb? Pastor Charles Swindoll wrote: "Some contemporary religious interpretations would paraphrase the verse: 'Be sure you child is in Sunday School and church regularly. Cement into his mind a few memorized verses from the Bible plus some hymns and prayers. Send him to Christian camps during the summers of his formative years, and certainly, if at all possible, place their child in a Christian school so he can be educated by people whose teaching is based on the Bible. Because, after all, someday he will so his wild oats. For sure he will have his fling. But when he gets old enough to get over his fling, he will come back to God.'"

Then Swindoll says, "I don't know about you, but that doesn't bring much encouragement to this parent! It doesn't seem to be much of a divine promise; when he is old and decrepit, finished with his fling, he'll come back to God. Big deal! What parent is really motivated to train his child, knowing he's training a prodigal who will ultimately turn against his parents and not return to the Lord until his later years?"

"That's not only not much of a promise-it isn't true."

I agree. I imagine that many of us can think of children who were who were sent to Sunday School and Worship Services. Maybe along the way they learned a few Bible verses. They went to VBS and even attended church camp. However, sooner or later, a few of them rebelled against God, their parents, and their church. As far as we may know, some of them never returned to God. I ask, What kind of promise is that? Well, I am convinced that the contemporary interpretation of this verse is not how this verse should be understood.

Borrowing largely from the writings of Swindoll, I want us to consider some key words in this verse to help us understand the truth of this proverb. Also, let's realize the Hebrew background and the original language in which this was penned.

I. Train Up Process

I think Solomon would have certainly been supportive of regular attendance at Sunday School and worship. As Jewish children grew up they were to gather every week to worship, but the SS as we know it, had not come into existence. As helpful as VBS and Christian camping are in training children, these tools were not around yet either. Certainly teaching the Bible, Bible stories, and memorizing Scripture was part of what Solomon had in mind, but Swindoll believes there is more.

You may be surprised to know the original root word for the term "the palate, the roof of the mouth, the gums." In verb form, it the term used for breaking and bringing into submission a wild horse by a rope in the mouth.

The term was also used in the days of Solomon to describe the action of a midwife who, soon after helping deliver a child, would dip her finger into the juice of chewed or crushed date, reach into the mouth of the infant, and massage the gums and the palate within the mouth so as to create a sensation of sucking, a sense of taste. The juice was also believed to be a cleansing agent in the newborn's mouth. Then she would place the child in it's mother's arms to begin feeding from the mother's breast. So it is the word used to describe "developing a thirst."

As time went by, this word for bringing into submission and developing a thirst came to be known as dedicate, consecrate. All of that is involved in "train up." Let's keep that in mind as we go on. This brings us to the next key word.

II. Child

What comes to your mind when you think of a child? An infant? A preschooler? A preadolescent? An adolescent? A teenager? Studies indeed indicate the vital importance of very early years as formative years. Yet ongoing training is shown to be important as the child continues to grow to adulthood. Usage of the Hebrew word child covers this span of years. Notice a few examples: In I Samuel 4:21 Phinehas' wife has just given birth to a child who is named Ichabod. In I Samuel 1:27 the Hebrew child is Samuel, who has been weaned. The word child in Genesis 21:16 refers to Ishmael, probably in his preteen years. At the age of seventeen years, the same word is used of Joseph in Genesis 37:2. It is also used of Shechem who was ready to be married in Genesis 34:19. I share this information because it illustrates the breadth of a child in Hebrew from newborn infants to young adults as the period for being trained up.

So we are to train up, to build into our child the experience of submission, to create in a child of all ages, in the way he should go. Of course, we should be aware that the reference is for both female and male children. Okay, we have dealt with the key words, train-up, and child; the next key word is small, but important.

III. In

The idea here is "in keeping with," "in cooperation with," "in accordance with," realizing that according to the child's way may be different from your way.

Listen again to what Swindoll wrote: "God is not saying, 'Bring up a child as you see him.' Instead, He says, 'If you want your training to be godly and wise, observe your child, be sensitive and alert so as to discover his way, and adapt your training accordingly." This brings us to the next key word.

IV. Way

The Hebrew word, "way," is suggestive of characteristic, manner, and mode. The same word is used in Proverbs 30:18-19. There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the sky, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the middle of the sea, And the way of a man with a maid."

Pastor Swindoll, commenting on the use of "way" in this verse said:

In each case, way is not a specific, well-defined, narrow road or path. It is a characteristic. The one who wrote this verse is saying, "As I observe these four things , I find myself intrigued. I can't put it all together. There is beautiful coordination, an intriguing mystery which keeps me and captures my attention. " Way is used in that same sense back in Proverbs 22:6 - train up a child in keeping with his characteristics.

Now let's dig a little deeper. Both Ps. 7:12 and 11:2 use the same word, way, to describe an archer with his bow and arrows. Psalm 11:2 describes the wicked bending the bow before they let the arrow fly to the target. Bent or bending the bow is the same word form translated way in Prove. 22:6.

Read a paraphrase of this verse from the Amplified Bible. It catches the meaning correctly: "Train up a child in the way he should go (and in keeping with his individual gift or bent), and when he is old he will not depart from it."

In every child God places within our arms, there is a bent, a set of characteristics already established. The bent is fixed and determined before he is given over to our care. The child is not, in fact, a pliable piece of clay. He has been set; he has been bent. And the parents who want to train this child correctly will discover that bent!

Children, even in the same family, sometimes even twins, are individuals, with individual ways that are part of how God made them. Is the training we provide assisting them in shaping them into the way God would have them go?

Train up a child in the way he should go, Solomon wrote many years ago. This is an involved training PROCESS as suggested by these key words.

Briefly and finally, I want to focus in on one more key word as we consider the PROMISE.

V. Old Promise

"Even when he is old he will not depart from it." Here the word old means "hair on the chin," literally in Hebrew, "bearded one."

Let me repeat the last part of a contemporary interpretation I mentioned earlier.

"Because, after all, someday he will so his wild oats. For sure he will have his fling. But when he gets old enough to get over his fling, he will come back to God.'"

Well, that is not much of a promise and not accurate to the Scripture. How old does a person have to be to get over a fling? Persons in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, and up may still be living in rebellion. And where does this proverb say anything about having a fling and sowing wild oats in rebellion against God and their parents?

When does a man begin to grow a beard? When he is approaching maturity, yet still in the period of Godly personalized training in the home with his parents.

Swindoll wrote: "The promise is that when your child reaches maturity, when he is ready to leave home, he will not depart from his training. It's not a promise concerning people ninety years old. It's a promise for those, who having been trained correctly, are leaving the nest and entering into maturity."

Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Teachers, Leaders, Peers, - how well are we doing with this PROCESS, so that we can receive a family PROMISE? You might like to know that Sue and I had the opportunity to visit with Frank and Diana's grown children last year, and I believe Frank and Diana have indeed received the promise of having trained their children in the way they should go.

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